Being a mom is a full-time gig…actually, what’s MORE than full-time? Full and three-quarters? Being a mom is something like that. And when you’re a special needs mom, caring for an atypically-developing child, it can feel even more draining at times. We all need to recharge our batteries, but how? If you’re reading this as a special needs mom, you’re already well on your way to carving out some time for yourself. Read on for more!
Five ways to find self-care for special needs moms:
Make a re-occuring date with yourself. This is your chance to cultivate and nurture an activity or hobby that’s important to you. The key: make sure the activity has nothing to do with your parenting or your child. In other words, your ‘hobby’ cannot be IEP drafting. Nope, sorry. It needs to be something the pre-parenting you loved, or something new you always wanted to try. Why does it need to be re-occuring? Because it takes 30 days to form a habit, and one of your habits needs to be self-care. Put your activity on the calendar and go or do every week!
Find community. Self-care for special needs moms HAS to include community. Join us on our Real Thinking Parent Facebook community, or network with parents in your child’s ABA therapy group or social skills group. Find a group of parents with kids with similar challenges to yours online, or check your local Meet Up groups or support groups. Everyone needs to hear similar challenges and solutions to the things they’re going through. No one should feel alone.
Give yourself regular time-outs. Maybe it’s a 15 minute meditation session on an app, or maybe you tune in for a 30 minute yoga session each day. Maybe you just lock yourself in the bathroom and listen to the peaceful silence. (Expert tip: you may need to turn on the water and the fan for white noise to achieve said peace.) It’s okay to take momentary breaks, and is actually crucial. My favorite escape place? The car. Parked in the driveway. Going nowhere.
Have at least one ‘lifeline’. Maybe this is your mother, on the other end of the phone. Maybe it’s your partner. Maybe it’s your neighbor, who will listen to you vent while getting the mail. Maybe it’s your best friend, who you meet for coffee once a week (see tip #1). But everyone needs at least one person they can call, text, or visit just to vent or celebrate with. Find yours!
Get regular exercise. Sorry, but this one is crucial. Exercise releases endorphins, which boast the mood. And when you’re respecting your body, you’re nurturing yourself and delivering self-care. Make a plan for regular exercise, whether that means an intense boot camp workout or a walk with the dog around the neighborhood. Stick with it, and encourage your child to join you. Let them ride a bike while you jog, or teach them a playground game like four-square or handball, and practice with them.
Do you have tips for self-care for special needs moms? We would love to hear them!