What is stimming?
Hand-flapping, rocking, spinning, and flicking. Stimming is a big topic in the autism world, in fact, stimming is probably the most recognizable trait of autism and the thing that people think about most when they think about autism. It’s also the thing that neurotypical people mess up the most about autism. The opinions on this are very polarized.
On the one hand, people with autism share that stimming, which is short for self-stimulatory behavior, makes them feel calm, helps them focus, and, in many cases is uncontrollable and automatic. On the other hand, parents and practitioners want to decrease stimming, particularly when it interferes with activities or learning opportunities. So, which is it? I would like to advocate for an understanding of both sides of this story.
We, all of us, should have a healthy respect for stimming mostly because it provides reinforcement for the individual, which just means that it feels good. If people need and deserve anything, it is access to the things that feel good to them. Stimming is also a coping mechanism, it is self-soothing, and it is entertaining. These are all good things.
To help understand the role of stimming, let’s use the example of nudity, for which I also have a healthy respect. There are all kinds of times when being nude is the most desired, entertaining, feel-good state of being, like in the bath, or….ahem…you know. But there are also all kinds of places where being nude is frowned upon. It’s not an appropriate time and it’s not an appropriate place but that doesn’t mean it’s not appropriate at other times and places. No matter how good it feels or how functional it is to be nude, there are certain times when that is not going to be reinforced, meaning it is not going to pick up reinforcement in the natural environment (unless the natural environment happens to be a nude beach, but I digress).
The same thing happens for stimming. It is a valuable activity for many individuals and they should be given access to it as a means of autonomy, but there are certain places where it will not be reinforced, and there are other places where it will interfere with very good things, like learning or interacting with other people. It’s funny, but nudity is like that too, right?
Our job as respectful parents and practitioners is to help the people we love who love to stim to know when to do it and to know when not to do it.
What is stimming?
Stimming also known as stereotypy is a repetitive non-functional action or noise. Sometimes stereotypy can involve an object but very often it only involves an individual body. It’s the non-functional part of the definition that many people, including me, don’t agree with. Stereoptypy is very functional. It functions to soothe and to entertain. When it becomes “non-functional” it is because it interferes with something else or it is occurring in an environment where it is unlikely to be reinforced and might actually be punished, or it is occurring at such a high rate that nothing else can take place.
Back to the nudity example. Remember nudity is great for all kinds of things, but if you are nude all the time, that means you can never go to the store or the park or a classroom or hang out with friends. It is going to dramatically impact what you have access to. For this reason, an attempt to decrease stereotypy or assign certain instances where it needs to stop for a brief period improves access and increases opportunities for natural reinforcement.
Giving an individual with autism the skills to make the choice to stim or not gives them greater access to the things around them. And greater access is the number one goal.
So how do we show respect for an individual’s desire to stim while also giving them access to as many things as possible?
Respecting stimming while understanding the environment:
Rule # 1: Neurotypical people must remember that stimming is almost always automatic and takes a great amount of energy to stop. Asking someone to not stim is like asking them to hold their breath. It takes work and it takes practice and it takes purpose. If a person with autism wants to learn the skills to stop stimming at certain times, they deserve our respect for the work that it takes for them to do that.
Rule # 2: Trying to take away stimming altogether is rude and hurtful. Think about having your most enjoyable, most soothing, most functional activity taken from you. Not cool. If a person enjoys stimming, they deserve to have access to it and it is unreasonable for you to think that it will go away.
Rule #3: The person who is stimming is going to have to choose to stop the stimming. Stimming is an automatically reinforced behavior which means it feels good without involving anyone or anything. Automatically reinforced behaviors are super hard to change.
Rule #4: Until the world becomes more neurodiverse, stimming is not going to be reinforced or celebrated. It may even be punished. We can really hate this and rail that the world should be more accepting, but until it is, it is our job as parents to help our children have access to reinforcement in the world that they currently live in. Lack of reinforcement is extremely harmful. The best we can do is help kids learn the skills that will enable them the most access.
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