When you think of ‘mindfulness’, what comes to mind first? Maybe a Buddhist monk posed in serenity? A blissful sunset? For me, it’s meditation. Or maybe yoga…two things I’m not very good at! My teen thinks immediately of my Calm app, which I love and he resists. The importance of mindfulness for kids and teens is proven, but I still get resistance from my kids. What to do?
It helps to remember–and to tell kids and teens–that mindfulness is NOT just about meditation. Mindfulness is about focusing on the present. Not obsessing about the past or worrying about the future. It’s a gift we can give ourselves: the ability to sit quietly in the NOW.
Mindfulness means paying full attention to something. It means slowing down to really notice what is around you. Being mindful is the opposite of stressing or multitasking.
When we’re being mindful, we teach children to focus on the present moment, and we equip them with skills to manage their feelings and emotions. Mindfulness has been proven to improve physical and mental health, as well as concentration, compassion, and kindness. Who doesn’t need more of all of that?
When we model mindfulness and teach mindfulness for kids and teens, we teach them how to manage stress and deal with life challenges. We can enhance relationships, discourage bullying, and help our kids build better social connections.
Okay, you say, but HOW?
Five easy ways to instill mindfulness for kids and teens:
Teach by example.
In your kids or teens’ presence, stop whatever you’re doing and take a deep breath. Do this often. When you can see frustration building with your kids, encourage them to take a breath, too. Ask them to notice the sensation of their breath, and nothing else. Don’t use this time to discipline (mindfulness should always come from a place of positivity), to remind them what they SHOULD be doing, or help them solve a problem. Just breath with them. I find my teen will cooperate with this once he trusts that I don’t have a bigger agenda.
Make kids put down their phones.
And you, too, Mom. I’m not saying to throw those phones in the trash can…just set them down during parts of the day in a deliberate way. Maybe the time period between dinner and bedtime is a phone-free zone. Or maybe phones are allowed, but random or constant scrolling is off the table. Asking kids and teens to ‘dock’ their phones at the door when they come home from school or an activity can be a great habit to instill. It has the added benefit of building in time to decompress or talk about the day.
Do one thing at a time.
This one is related to the phone tip, because who among us doesn’t try to multi-task while looking at our phones? If my teen is playing a video game, I ask him to ONLY play…not play while also watching Netflix on his phone or listening to music. If we’re in the car, we might listen to something together, but separate earbuds while attempting conversation is not allowed.
Find mindfulness for kids and teens in everyday tasks.
Don’t worry about scheduling ‘mindfulness’ into the day’s agenda. Emptying the dishwasher can be a mindful activity, if it’s done with full attention (see ‘do one thing at a time’). Ditto for folding laundry or sweeping the floor. Breaks from remote learning can be mindful, too, as they include physical activity. Encourage kids and teens to allow their mind a break from constant stimulus and just BE.
Notice what is around you.
Seems simple, but we don’t do this very often! Go on a ‘mindful walk’ with your kid or teen. No phones, no music. Maybe not even conversation. Ask them to notice what they are smelling. What they are seeing. What they can hear. Focus only on what your senses can deduce during any given moment. Maybe sit and stare up at the sky for a while. Remember laying back in the grass and looking at the clouds when you were a kid? That’s meditation!
Get many more ideas for mindfulness exercises by age and stage.
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